“So when are you
going to ask him out?” A woman in her mid-twenties sticks her head up above the
right side of my cubicle.
“I’m not going to ask
him out at all.”
“Oh come on Des! You
deserve to have some fun! Besides, if you don’t want a serious relationship,
you could always keep it at a sexual one.”
“Right. Sarah, you
know I don’t date. No exceptions. And I don’t even like him!”
“Well that’s rich
coming from the girl who’s been staring at him non-stop for the past ten
minutes.” She tossed her long, curly red hair back and crossed her arms.
“I did not!” I hadn’t
even realized I’d been staring at him for so long. “And even if I was, that
still wouldn’t change anything.” I added before Sarah could protest. “Stop
pouting, you child. Fine, I’ll buy lunch to make it up to you. Do we have a
deal?”
“I do love food… Can
we go to that nice Italian place on fifth?”
“Fine by me, as long
as you stop trying to get me and Ryan together.” He was cute though, with his
short black hair and dimples whenever he smiled. Bet he was the stud in his school
and college and… life.
“You’re just lucky I
love food as much as I do.”
“Yeah yeah, just be
ready to leave in an hour.”
“You don’t know what
I’m capable of when I get to have lunch at that Italian place.” I laughed and
focused on the screen of my laptop again. Complicated graphs of economic
possibilities of large companies were my area of expertise. Sarah was hired to
do credit checks on companies before they could get a loan. We’d been friends
ever since one of our company’s parties. She’d spilled a drink on some guy, who
had obviously had one too many drinks. Anyway, he got angry and violent and I… well,
I broke his nose. After that, Sarah and I started talking and we’ve gotten
along very well ever since.
“Hey Des, do you have
the report on Techny Corp. yet?”
“Y-yes, I uhm…
finished it yesterday already, Mr. Daniels. I thought I’d e-mailed it to you,
but I could be wrong. I mean, I’m just human and it wouldn’t be the first time
I forgot about something. Though I am fairly certain I sent it this time. Not
that I’m saying…” Sarah had started giggling halfway through my uncontrolled
blabbering. Honestly, I was surprised she hadn’t fallen off her chair yet.
“It’s okay Desny, you
have actually sent it, but I was just wondering if you had a hardcopy as well.
I happen to prefer paper. And please just call me Ryan. I might be your boss,
but we are practically the same age.”
“Will do, Sir… I mean
Ryan.” No matter what, I always got nervous whenever Ryan was around. I hate to
say it, but Sarah was right; I did like him, a lot. “And I’ll fetch the
hardcopy right away.” I got up from my chair and almost fell over right away.
Yes, I was that clumsy with him around. “There you go; one hardcopy of the
Techny Corp. file.” I sounded a little too cheerful, I realized.
“Thank you Desny, and
keep up the great work. We’d be lost without you here.” Ryan walked back to his
own office. I fell back into my chair and purposely hit my head against my
desk. “At least I don’t have to worry about a relationship now; I’m the
laughingstock of the entire company.” I banged my head against the desk once
again.
“It’s not that bad.
Okay, stop banging your head against your desk or you WILL be the laughingstock
of the company. Look, the way I see it; Ryan actually thinks it’s quite cute
how you get all red and start stammering. But, you know, it doesn’t matter if
you don’t want him to like you anyway.”
“Yeah, you’re right.”
“No, that’s not how
it works!” I raised my eyebrow in confusion. “You’re supposed to say that you
do want him to like you and that you love his deep-brown eyes and the way he
smiles and whatever. You’re supposed to say you want him to love you and that
you want to marry him and have children and live happily ever after.”
“Wow, you have it all
thought out, don’t you? Unfortunately this isn’t a fairy-tale; he doesn’t like
me and I have vowed not to date anyone ever again.”
“Don’t you see?
That’s what makes it so perfect; you think he’s not interested, but actually he
dreams of lifting you from that chair and kissing you senseless.”
“Yes, that must be
it.” I sighed and turned to my laptop yet again, knowing there was no winning
here.
“Ready to get some
lunch?!” I looked up and saw my valued co-worker hanging over the right side of
my cubicle like she always did.
“Just give me five
more minutes. I want to finish this report before lunch.” Sarah pouted her lips
and sat back down, sighing loudly. “I’m done, let’s go.” I told Sarah about six
minutes later. So I miscalculated a minute, who cares?
“Yes! And you can bet
I’ll order the most expensive thing on the menu, Des!” She got off her chair,
smiling broadly, and almost danced toward the elevator. It’s not like the
stairs are a good plan when you’re on the twenty-first floor.
Suddenly the doors to
the stairs flung open, almost hitting me in the face. “Everyone get out as fast
as you possibly can!” Eric, a guy who worked on the floor below us shouted in
panic.
“Eric, calm down, the
aliens are not coming to get us.” I replied, a little bit annoyed.
“No, but…” He fell to
the floor face down and now I could see blood seeping through his shirt, along
with a gunshot between his shoulder blades. I dropped on my knees next to him,
foolishly thinking I might be able to help. Not five seconds later, two guys
wearing masks and holding guns came bursting in as well. They started shooting
around at random and in the corner of my eye, I could see Sarah dropping to the
floor. The shooting continued and soon every corner of the floor was covered in
blood. The gunshots stop and the room goes quiet, I didn’t think there were any
survivors at all. Then I realized; I was still alive, they hadn’t shot me or at
least not yet. The guys in masks had stopped shooting to reload their guns and
I knew I had to act or I would get killed too. I rose up and shoved the gun of
one of the guys into his face. With my other hand I punched him in such a way I
knew would knock him out. The other guy finished reloading his gun as quickly
as his hands would allow him, but just when he got it reloaded, I stabbed him
in the neck with a letter-opener that had fallen off a desk.
“Is anyone still
alive?!” I yelled out desperately. No answer.
That was three years
ago. The nightmares still haunt me every night. Sarah, Ryan, Eric, no one made
it out alive, except me. I blame myself for what happened; I blame myself for
not acting sooner, for not believing Eric, but what I think about mostly is if
Sarah would’ve survived if we’d gotten on the elevator sooner. My name is
Destiny Mills and this is a story about how I lost myself.
-Chapter 1-
“Okay men, you’re
under my supervision now. Which means that every little sissy who’s afraid to
get his silky hands dirty, should leave right this second. No takers? Well
then, boys, I hope you’re ready for some fire, because for the next two weeks,
I’ll put you through hell.”
“Major Mills, sir!
May I ask what our training consists of?” A guy with brownish-blonde hair to
his shoulders, who appeared to be about twenty-eight, asked.
“Well lieutenant,
first of all, you’ll learn to say ma’am to women.” The lieutenant in question
looked down, ashamed. “Then you’ll realize I’m quite forgiving. What is your
name, lieutenant?”
“Lieutenant Danny
Buckley, si… ma’am!” His blue eyes were apologizing for him as well.
“Well Buckley, you
can drop and give me twenty. Not for calling me sir, but for asking what to
expect. Let me tell you your first words of wisdom; you never know what to
expect and so, I will not let you know what will happen in advance. You will
obey the orders I give you, no questions asked. Is that understood?” I looked
at the five people still standing next to each other.
“Yes Ma’am!” All of
them replied in perfect unison.
“All right, that’s
what I like to hear! I trust all of you know about our war with our
neighbouring country Menna. We are training for a special operation; we are
assigned to retrieve certain items. That is all I can tell you for now. Now you
all follow me and follow me closely. If you lose the rest of the group, it will
be unlikely you’ll find your way back to the camp. And I’m not your nanny, I
will not come looking for you, you will be on your own. So just keep up and
everything will be fine. Today our course will be fairly easy, I trust you will
all keep up, but this does not mean I’ll make it easy for you. Your objective
is to try and catch me. Even if you don’t, it is vital to stay close, like I’ve
mentioned before.”
“I’ve heard she’s ‘The
Tiger’, how does she expect us to keep up?” I overheard a younger female
warrant officer whisper in the ear of the male sergeant next to her. She had
brown eyes and long black hair, tightly pulled together into a bun.
“You’ll do best not
to whisper in my presence, you see, my ears are quite good. What are your
names?” I stayed calm and official.
“I’m Officer Mary
Brighton, ma’am.” The female warrant officer replied a little scared of the
consequences that her question might be bearing.
“Sergeant Joseph
Kelly, I apologize for my behaviour, ma’am!” From this reaction alone, one
could see he was prepared to follow orders very well. This guy used to be a
doctor, or so I’d read in his file. I was good at reading people, but not that
good. Sergeant Kelly reminded me of Ryan a little; he had the same short, black
hair, even though Kelly had grey eyes, where Ryan had deep blue ones.
“At ease, Sergeant
Kelly. I am indeed also known by the ridiculous nickname ‘The Tiger’. And I do
not expect you to be able to catch me, feel free to surprise me though. You
have to use your tracking skills to follow my lead; you need to get yourselves
out of that forest safely. To follow me in will be easy, after that, you’ll
have to work together to find your way back here. This is what I ask of you,
nothing more, nothing less. Are you ready?”
“Yes ma’am!” Six
voices reply.
I nodded and ran into
the forest, the footsteps of the rest of my team clearly audible behind me.
Like I told them; the way in was not very difficult. The only things that could
be considered challenging were a few fallen trees, which I avoided by gracefully
(or as graceful as possible at least) jumping over them. The six following me
had a bit more difficulty with them, but they managed to keep up very easily.
Once I reached a clear patch which I knew was about a mile into the woods, I
started on the route back. Naturally, I didn’t go straight back to the edge of
the woods, I ran parallel to the woods’ edge for a while, before slightly
turning right. On the way back, I quickened my pace and used the various tree
trunks to conceal myself from the others. My path was also reduced to fallen
trees, branches and clear pieces of road. I was no rookie; I wasn’t going to
let them hear my footsteps. When I knew I was almost at the edge of the forest,
I climbed into a tree with enough leaves to cover me up entirely. As still as I
could possibly sit, I waited for the team to find me. The forest was quiet;
they had to still be far away. This was going to be a long wait, I feared. And
I was right; it took almost an hour before I could even hear their voices. They
also seemed to have neglected to think of what I wanted them to do. The voices
I could hear were from Officer Brighton and one of the guys, a sergeant major,
if I remembered correctly.
“I knew we shouldn’t
have followed that stream! I said we shouldn’t, but did anyone listen? No, it’s
a far better idea to just assume a woman famous for survival would go for the
easy option, right?” The sergeant major spoke far too loud.
“Oh yeah? Wasn’t it
you who suggested we just walk the way back to camp and forget about finding
Major Mills?” Brighton shot back.
“Maybe we should just
make one of you our leader then, shall we? You don’t earn a promotion by being right;
you earn it by following orders and being a team-player. Now be quiet! If she’s
planning on making it difficult for us, she’ll flee once she hears our voices.”
This guy was smart, I had to give him at least that. He was probably the
captain among them. I didn’t receive a lot of information on the people that
got sent to me, but I did know what ranks they would be. I got one captain, two
lieutenants, a warrant officer, a sergeant major and a sergeant. Their ranks
could be deduced by looking at their insignia, but that still wouldn’t grant me
a name, they would’ve had to tell me that themselves.
When they were almost
exactly below me, I jumped out of the tree and held a knife to a lieutenant’s
neck. “And that’s it, you’re dead. I have to say I am disappointed in all of
you! I could hear you arguing miles away. If I would’ve been your enemy, this
would’ve been a slaughter! Your one objective was to track me down, but as a
team! Not one of you has shown a sufficient amount of team spirit.” The caption
dove on top of me right in the middle of my rant. “What the hell is this?!”
“You told us to try
and catch you in the forest. We are still in the forest.” Right, I did say
that. Oh well.
I needed no more than
two seconds to get the roles reversed; I was now on top of him and my foot was
on his throat, which no doubt made it difficult for him to breathe. His arms
were also very useless at this point, since his body lay on top of one and my
other foot held his second arm down. He wasn’t going anywhere. “Like I was
saying, or trying to say; I don’t care if you catch me, I’m trying to teach you
how to stay alive. And if you refuse to listen, then I don’t want you in my
team! When we’re out there in Menna, we will only have the seven of us, you
will have to trust one another in order to stay alive.” I paused to let the
message sink in. Then I got up and helped the captain to stand up straight. “I
apologize for closing off your windpipe a bit; I just needed to get the message
through. Are you all right Captain…?”
“Nathaniel Martins,
ma’am.” He saluted me while saying that, and his posture while doing that let
me to believe he’d served before. And wow, hello muscles. He would’ve needed to
train for hours a day to get that fit. He seemed to be very neat, but his short-ish
brown hair was a perfect mess. It suited him though, especially with his
emerald-green eyes.
“You were the only
one who seemed to remember what I wanted you to accomplish.”
“Thank you, ma’am.”
“That’s not
necessarily a compliment. You outrank the others, Captain Martins, you are
allowed to take the lead and get the others to focus. You have not been a
captain for long, have you?”
“No, I recently got
promoted to captain. I’ve been a lieutenant for a very long time before that,
ma’am.” That would explain why he was used to following orders and also why he
had remembered what to do so well.
“Then you’re main
training will consist of growing into your role. A lieutenant mostly follows
orders, a captain should not only follow them, but also give them to those
below him. It is not easy to change the way you act, but I will make you an
appropriate second in command.” I shook his hand as a sign of respect. “As for
the rest of you; we’ve got a long road ahead. Now let’s head back to camp and
make ourselves some dinner, the sun is setting already. Brighton and Sergeant
Major, you will be cooking. That’s your punishment for your relentless
bitching.”
“Yes ma’am.” The two
of them responded with a whole lot of guilt.
“Good, now follow me.
And if any of you get the smart idea to tackle me from behind, then I guess we’ll
have someone to clean the toilets.” The team just stood still, not knowing what
to think. “It’s a joke, loosen up, training’s over for today. Take it from me;
every minute of free time you get, you want to spend it relaxing. You’ve chosen
a stressful profession and I’m not your drill sergeant, or at least not after
training. Hell, that would be way too stressful for me. I’m human too, you
know.”
“I thought you were a
tiger, that’s an animal.” A lieutenant remarked and immediately regretted
saying that to a superior.
I laughed. “I told
you it was a ridiculous nickname. And don’t ever regret saying something; you
can’t take it back anyway. It’s better to stand by your words and be wrong than
to be a pushover.” The lieutenant heaved a huge sigh of relief. “On another
note; I still don’t know who you and you are.” I pointed at the sergeant major
with those last words.
“Lieutenant Chase
Lucas and the sergeant major over here is my little brother Lionel.” Chase was
definitely more relaxed now.
“I don’t see it.” I
said, a little too blunt.
“That’s because I’ve
inherited the good looks and he got… I don’t know, what did you get, Lionel?”
Chase chuckled a little and Lionel tried to hit his brother. Chase was not
wrong though; he did get the good looks. His blonde, curly hair most have wowed
the ladies more than once and his light-brown eyes were definitely not against
him either. His brother Lionel wasn’t bad-looking; he was just not as handsome
as Chase was. Lionel’s skin wasn’t as nicely tanned and his hair wasn’t curly,
but just hanged around his face a bit. But then again, Chase was surely the
ladies’ man among them and I never liked those guys.
“Now, now, boys; be
nice.” I said jokingly maternal. Chase laughed warmly, one of those laughs that
could get the entire room to laugh with him.
“Major Mills, can I
ask you a question?” Sergeant Kelly asked carefully.
“A teacher would have
replied with: ‘I don’t know, can you?’, but since I’m no teacher; go ahead.”
“How did you get
stuck with ‘The Tiger’ as a nickname? You surely didn’t come up with it
yourself and you seem to hate it, so I was wondering.”
“Hmm, I don’t hate
it, I just think it’s… well… trying too hard. However, that wasn’t your
question. They named me that after an incident in the Trivian war: I got
captured and managed to escape by just using my agility, strength and common
sense, mostly. I needed no one to come and save me, just like a tigress. One of
my team members actually said that as a joke. I guess it caught on pretty well,
huh?”
“You could say that,
yeah.” Lionel remarked. Everyone was a little more relaxed now, they were
getting more comfortable.
“So, what’s for
dinner?” Chase asked his little brother as we stepped into the cafeteria.
Besides us, there was absolutely no one. Then again, we were not a large
operation and our team was actually very late. Not my fault, I expected them to
find me sooner than they actually did, I overestimated them. Okay, that just
might be my fault right there…
“How should I know?!
I don’t know what food’s in the kitchen!” Sergeant Major Lucas answered,
clearly irritated by his brother.
“Tell you what: there
should be quite a lot of frozen pizzas in the white freezer all the way to the
left. You’ll get out of your punishment this time, but only this time. If I
ever have to scrutinize the two of you again for the same thing, I will be
twice as vicious. Understood?” It’s not that I was a good person so much as
that I was very hungry and just wanted my food as soon as possible.
“Yes, ma’am, thank
you!” I nodded as a reply and the two went in the kitchen to make us all some
pizza.
I lay my head down on
the table, tired as I was. “Ma’am, are you okay?” My second in command, Captain
Nathaniel Martins, looked down at me with concern in his eyes.
“Yes, I’m fine, just
tired is all. You get your sleep whenever you get the chance. I guess that
never changed for me after the Trivian war. Were you also fighting in that
particular war, captain?”
“Yes, I was fighting
in that war as well. How did you know?”
“I recognized the sad
look on your face. You haven’t killed before then, am I right?”
“You are.” His eyes
turned and he looked down at the table.
“What we do isn’t
pretty, I’m sure you never expected it to be. But before you actually kill
someone, it’s all just speculation. Even though we all knew that that was what
we had to do sooner or later. The army isn’t nice or cosy; it can be hell on
earth sometime.”
“Then why, if I may
ask, did you join in the first place, Major Mills?”
“One thing: after
hours, it’s Desny or Des. No Major or ma’am and certainly no Destiny. Now for
your question; I’m sure you’ve heard about the slaughter at the Company Finance
tower, right?” The four of them all nodded. “Well, I was in that building when
it happened. I had been working there since I was seventeen, five years of my
life.” I swallowed; I’d never really realized how big a part of my life I’d
spend working in that office. I had been friends with Sarah for almost that
long. I’d had a crush on my superior for about four years and never had worked
up the courage to do something about it. It somehow seemed funny now, how I’d
been too scared to ask a guy out, when now I killed terrorists for a living.
And let me tell you: those terrorists could be far more dangerous. “Either way,
I was about the only survivor or at least the only one from my floor. I lost my
best friend that day and I still feel guilty for not saving at least her. I
guess I joined the army to make sure something like that would never happen to
anyone else.”
“I… I’m sorry, I
shouldn’t have asked.” He looked down at the table again.
“Unless you’re
psychic, you have nothing to be sorry for. Now, if you are; you should tell me
now, it might be useful for us.” I forced a smile. Sorry okay, but I haven’t
smiled an awful lot after Sarah died right in front of me.
“Unfortunately I’m
not psychic.” Nathaniel did seem to conjure up a genuine smile to go with his
words.
“Oh
shit, that would’ve been so awesome!” Chase mixed himself into the
conversation.
“Who
wants pizza?!” Officer Brighton yelled out cheerfully as she stepped out
through the kitchen-door.
“Well,
you guys have fun bonding some more, I’m heading to bed.” I broke the silence
after we’d eaten.
“But
it’s only like ten o’clock, isn’t that a little early?”
“Well
Chase, once you reach my age… No, but I’m really very tired and I want to go to
bed. Maybe you’re forgetting I have to get up over an hour before you do to
decide what I will teach you next.”
“Tomorrow
then?” Chase continued.
I
sighed. “Maybe, maybe not, we’ll see.” I never made these sort of plans in
advance. I liked to able to have some freedom in what I did and did not do.
“Sleep well, team, tomorrow will not be easier than today has been.”
“I’ll
walk with you; I’m going to turn in as well.” That might’ve been the first time
Lionel had spoken (sort of) directly to me.
“How
are we related? You’re so incredibly boring.” Of course Chase had to say that.
“I’m
so sorry for my brother; he can be a bit of a jerk sometimes.” Lionel began
apologetic while avoiding eye contact.
“It’s
not that bad; I think you got more of it than I did.” Honestly, the guy wasn’t
very nice to his brother.
He
stopped walking across the hallway. “Maybe so, but I’m used to it and not only
that, we’re also brothers; it’s kind of normal. I was merely pointing out that
I think his flirting was a bit out of line.” He did look me in the eye now and
his deep-brown eyes told me he was serious.
“He
was flirting? I can be very ignorant when it comes to flirting; I just don’t
notice it. Plus I find it hard to believe anyone would actually try to flirt
with me.” I just wasn’t used to male attention. I’d always been a geek and a loner
when I was in high-school. Good luck finding someone interested in you then.
“Really?
I…” He paused for a second, trying to find his words. “I just find it hard to
believe you’re not used to guys flirting with you.” I started to answer that,
but Lionel cut me off saying: “I’m sorry; I was out of line this time.” And he
walked on.
“No,
that’s not it. It’s just… well… I don’t know why you’d think that. I mean; I’m
a girl in the army, I reached the rank of major in just three years. Can you
see how that might intimidate men? Not that I’ve at all been interested in
dating anyone, not for a long time. And even before I joined the army I wasn’t
exactly popular with the guys. At that time, I was just pretty much a loser
with a high functioning set of brains.” It was painful, but oh so true.
Actually, no, not entirely true, but that’ll come later.
Lionel
raised his eyebrows in surprise. “I did not expect that. I apologize if I’m
overstepping, but one could consider you a very attractive woman. Even when you
consider the fact that you’re in the army and are able to kill a person in less
than three seconds, I wouldn’t have been surprised if you were to have more
than one admirer.” Okay, I guess it was my turn now to be surprised.
“Is
this some sort of flirting? Because I’ve told you; I am ignorant toward
flirting.”
“I
can assure you, ma’am, it is not.” Those words made me feel like an idiot all
right. “I believe this is your room. I wish you a good night, Major Mills.”
“And
to you too, Sergeant Major Lucas.” We saluted each other and Lionel turned
around, undoubtedly in the general direction of his own room.
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